Candids

by Chris Logsdon

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1.
02:32
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02:22
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02:40
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Why do the things I once loved now feel like chores? Why do I try to make everything so profound? Why can't I stop making everything about money? Why do I do this to myself? Even now, I’m working this into a song. Wondering if it could be a hit and bring attention. But what then? Why am I so concerned? Why do I do this to myself? Just keep creating. I know. Don’t care if it's good or bad. I know. I keep seeking the same advice I already know. Why do I do this to myself? What's holding me back? What do I really want? I don't know. It makes me want to scream and cry. I can't even journal my own thoughts without worrying that nobody will care. Why do I do this to myself?

about

When I moved to LA, I quickly learned that being a full-time working musician is extremely difficult. Never mind the grind of self-employment, the intensity with which the work shakes my emotions is relentless. In a matter of days (hours?), I can experience unparalleled ambition, quickly followed by utterly crushing depression. It hasn't been uncommon for me to spend full days paralyzed by doubt and worry.

Even in these lowest moments, I've forced myself to create. These songs are the result - born of desperation and built without a blueprint. They were written in the heat of the moment, in an almost improvisational manner, and completed within the same day.

Despite this grimness, I don't see this album as being "sad". Though the songs were written in times of great difficulty, they resulted in a renewal of energy, inspiration, and motivation. They lifted me out of the dark place they were born.

credits

released December 14, 2018

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about

Chris Logsdon Los Angeles, California

Game Music Composer
[aka Chjolo]

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